Mall Cart Trolls

Tis' the season to roam the malls in search of that perfect gift. It is also the season for the infamous "mall cart" sales people. Know who I'm talking about? Those trolls who seem to magically appear and are eager to sell you those damn eucalyptus neck rests, magnetic bracelets and personalized license plate frames... ah yes. You know who I'm speaking of.

I don't know why, but these folks aggravate me so much. I realize that they are just "doing their job", and their job is to mob whoever is unfortunate enough to be in a 5ft. radius of their cart. HOWEVER, I wonder "would it kill them to be a little creative?" EVVVVERYtime I pass by one of those damn carts it's the same thing "Can I ask you a question?" This is where the unsuspecting consumer says "yes" and then they are pulled into the neverending sales pitch about how electronic heating socks are a wonderful investment. I can't help but giggle when I see this. Why not say "hey, you stepped on something..." then when the person looks down, you're in front of them with foaming gum remover? Simple idea folks!

Not once, not twice, but THREE times I got hit with that stupid "can I ask you something" sorry ass sales pitch. Which brings up another annoying thing. When a person asks you that, didn't they already ask you a question? HELLO?? You should know by now that yours truly is an admitted smartass..SOOO by the 3rd time I got asked that "can I ask you something" question I blurted out "You just did, pal!" and kept walking. I left the sad fellow there with his scented neck wrap looking like I peed in his Cheerios. Oh well. I couldn't help myself. Perhaps that was a little bitchy. I don't know... I just hate cookie-cutter sales pitches. Get creative at least, kids! Maybe then I'll by a pair of vibrating nail cutters!

Disclaimer

If you have decided to occasionally read or even follow my blog you should know that I am a pretty opinionated gal who doesn't really care about what is "P.C." and what isn't. That being said, I am not ignorant and am well aware that not EVERYONE is the same as I may describe. I am simply describing MY personal encounters with odd folks and strange situations I always seem to find myself in. Soooo....if you shop at Walmart and you AREN'T a train wreck, cool. This means you shouldn't get offended when I talk about the hot messes I've seen there because that means I'm not talking about you. Get it? So chill out and don't get your panties in a wad! Ok, have a nice day!

Intro.... backasswards

Sooooo... ok. Although I have aleady posted two blogs, I haven't posted a blog about who I am. Usually people who blog do a little intro THEN they blog, but I guess since I've never been one to follow rules, it's no shock that I'm doing a little introduction AFTER having posted a couple blogs. I'm not expecting a lot of people to read about my babble, but just in case someone may choose to read, they will know a little about me.

I'm 32, I live in North Orange County (I will tell you why I feel the need to say 'North' O.C. later), I'm engaged to the funniest man I've ever met and I have two dogs. My life for the most part is calm these days. I've been with my fiance for over 3 years now and we're going to finally get married next year. I say 'finally' because I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him within the first month of meeting him. I know, I know. You're probably thinking "this chick is a sap" but I'm soooo not a sap. It's just one of those things. When I met him, I felt like I was home. I didn't have to be anyone but myself. I didn't have to laugh at things that weren't funny to be polite. I didn't have to hold back the things I wanted to say. I was myself, completely and totally. It was like a breath of fresh air. That's not to say that I was a fake with those I dated before him, but I think that we all tend to tame ourselves at times when we date people we aren't sure about. Maybe you won't laugh at a crude joke even if you think it's funny...maybe you will dress conservative even though you want to throw on a hot dress...maybe you will stay home more often even though you KNOW you want to hit the town so that you don't come across as a party girl. I can only speak for myself when I say I've done that. But when I met my suga' it was just different. I felt like I could totally be myself. He is truly my air. Even though we're getting married next year, I already feel married. Our wedding day will be special nonetheless, but the way I see it, it's just a confirmation..... and a day where we can get gussied up and celebrate with our loved ones.

I have two dogs. Two Chihuahuas. I love them to bits. I mean that. I had never bonded with an animal before I met my dog Carmela. Then along came Peanut. I realize that I think of them as little humans and they aren't but I can't help it. After a long shitty day at work, they are always there to greet me and make me feel like I'm the best thing since Spanx. Yes, I talk to them.... yes I dress them. Shut up. Don't judge me. haha On a serious note, I am a die hard animal lover. I am the chick that will call the cops on you if you leave your animal in the car. I'm the chick who calls animal control to come pick up animals off the side of the road because it breaks my heart to see them laying there like trash. I'm the one who will put food out to feed a hungry cat. It infuriates me to see animal abuse. It makes me cry to see an animal ignored and neglected. I've felt this way for some time now and got to thinking about a saying I've always believed in.. "shit or get off the pot". With all these strong feelings I have towards animals, what was I doing with it? So I decided that I'd spent enough time "on the pot" and decided to shit! I went through the screening process to become a volunteer at a shelter. I can't even put into words just how much I love it. If they were hiring I'd quit my job and work there. I love being around animals. I met three dogs on my first visit and helped to get one adopted. My soul is happy when I'm around all the animals.

What else... I am a girly girl. I love, love, love to shop. I love jewelry, but not for the reason you might think. When I'm feeling "puffy" jewelry always fits and makes me feel pretty... as do shoes. I love shoes.I like to get dressed up whenever I can and love feeling girlie. That's not to say I can't get down and grungy too. I have planted in my yard, I have picked up countless dog turds, barf, you name it. I can do it. Do I like that stuff? No. But I can handle it, most definitely.

I believe that we are our own worst critic. I think it's human nature to see flaws in ourself. I'm guilty of it myself. When someone gives me a compliment, I can never just say "thank you". There is always a "but". "Your hair looks pretty. It's so long." Me: "Yeah, it's long.. but it's all scraggly." I don't know why I do that,but it's almost automatic! I guess I feel like if I simply say "thank you" I'm agreeing with whatever the person said and that's never the case. I've been told that to say other than "thank you" when someone pays you a compliment is impolite, but I can't help myself.

I have a passion for music. I love it. I feel it. I roll around in it. I love all sorts of music. I can go from Coltrane to Cream in a minute. I thank my dad for exposing me to so many different types of music growing up. I become imersed (sp*) in music. I just slip into my own little world when I hear a song that suits my mood.

I am a shutterbug. I carry a camera with me at all times. I like to shoot random things. I respect photography as an art. It's magical. A camera allows you to freeze a moment in time forever. That look... that smile... that tear... Photos are treasures.

Anyway, that's a bit about me. I plan to blog regularly. I don't know if it will be a daily thing. I don't know if my blogs will even be borderline entertaining for you to read. It's fun and therapeutic for me though. So if you're so inclined, "follow" me on here. Toodles for now...

The "skinny" on Skinny Jeans

Let me start this blog entry by admitting that I am not a fashionista. I don't follow trends religiously, nor do I keep up with what's "in" or "out". I feel that trends if acknowledged at all, should be used as a guideline. Not a religion that you absolutely must stick to no matter what.

Enter the "skinny" jean.....

I really think there should be a weight limit on these bad boys. I can't tell you how many times I've seen heavy women (and men!) wearing these pants. They simply aren't flattering on heavy people. I don't understand why one would wear pants that make them look like Humpty Dumpty. I really don't! Maybe that sounds bitchy of me to say, but come on now. I'm not a skinny minnie myself. I've got curves and accept the fact that although these pants may look cute on petite/slim/toned people, I have no business in them. I am not about to pour myself in some jeans that could pass for leggings just because it's the trend. I wish more people would accept the fact that certain styles of clothing aren't flattering to their body types. It does give me something to laugh at, but I'm sure they wouldn't like to know that people such as myself laugh at the fact that they made themself a fashion victim. What reeeeeally gets me is when gals have trucker gut and wear these pants. It's as though the pants are cutting off the circulation to their lower body therefore causing their upper half to bloat! Perhaps these folks are proud of their flapping guts and like it to wiggle in the wind. I don't know. I'm puzzled. Help me understand this!

Another thing that gets me is men who wear skinny jeans. I think a lot of men have skinny legs and I had no idea that this was a turn on to some women. I mean, that has to be a reason why they wear them, right? Yuck. I think it's borderline vulgar when men wear skinny jeans. Their marble bags get all squished in there and it's disgusting to see. I've been traumatized by this sight way too many times to mention. I think this madness of men in painted on jeans needs to stop! If you're chunky these pants will not magically make you skinny. If you're a man, these pants will mangle your manparts. PUT THE SKINNY JEANS BACK ON THE RACK!