Getting hitched next month. Holy MOLIE!

So I was at home today, getting ready for work. Ed had already left and I was alone in the house with my three doggies. I don't know what triggered it, but I suddenly felt full of love. I felt all glowey and shit. Maybe it was the smell of Eddie's cologne lingering in the bedroom... maybe it was seeing his pajamas on the chair... I don't know what it was exactly, but it hit me that I get to marry him next month. I can't believe I finally met the man of my dreams.


When I think about getting married, I get excited. I think of the moment I walk with my dad down the aisle towards my Eddie. I get this stupid grin on my face just thinking about it. This guy loves me for ME. He knows me inside and out and loves me anyway! Either he's in love with me, or he's nuts. Maybe he is a bit of both. I know I'm in love with him, and I've never loved anyone like I love him. We've had our stupid arguments over stupid things, but never once have I thought about leaving. It just wasn't an option in my head. I knew early on that I was in the relationship for the long haul. This relationship is so different from those in my past. I neeeever used to stick around. An argument? "Ok, bye." I just didn't deal with it. I've learned that when you truly love someone, you don't quit. You don't give up. Throwing in the towel just isn't an option when your heart is invested.

Sometimes when I think about how I used to be towards guys (not nice at all) and the mistakes I've made, I wonder what I did to deserve him. I've made mistakes in my life and have hurt people. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes intentional. Somehow, some way, I did something right because GOD sent him my way.

He has shown me the meaning of unconditional love in a relationship. I've never had that before.

As our wedding day approaches I think about how big of a step in life this is. I think it's a very "grown up" decision. Sure, we have a mortgage, but this is bigger. Then I think about how I feel like a big kid trapped in the body of a 32 year old. I still think farts are funny, I still laugh when people trip, I still can't seem to balance my checkbook. When I look back at my parents, they seemed so mature. The reality is, although they were mature, they were kids compared to me! They married at a much younger age. I have always seen them as my parents though. I don't know if that makes sense. They have just always seemed to have it together.

Maybe to some people I look mature.

Yeah right huh? Who am I kidding? haha I'm just this big ol dork who gets to marry her best friend. I look forward to growing old with him. I know life is going to bring us some challenges, as it does with many people, but I know we have a strong foundation and we'll be ok. I won't quit. I love him too much, and dammit.. the guy has my heart.